Listening

Sometimes I feel like no one is listening to me or wants to listen to me. It's happening more often lately, and I think a big part of that is because I want to talk about NaNoWriMo and nobody else does. Nobody else I know is doing it or even cares about it, and it's something I really love. So it makes me feel bad that no one seems to care. It makes me feel...like crying.

It's not even a big deal. So what if they're not interested in what I'm interested in. The same goes for Parker. He wants to talk about World of Warcraft all the time, but I honestly don't care. In fact, I've told him that if he has anything to say about WoW, I don't want to hear it. Most of that is because I don't even understand what the heck he's saying and I can't pretend to be enthusiastic when I don't even know if I should be enthusiastic.

But even though I know it's not a big deal, it still hurts. I feel like I've finally found something that I care about, something that I am willing to sacrifice a lot for, and nobody cares. I've always been envious of people who know what they like, who know that they have something worth living for. I finally understand what they're feeling because I'm feeling it right now as I write my 50,000 word novel in the month of November. I am so excited and so proud of myself because I've never done something like this and I'm not only doing it, but I'm freaking owning it. But I have no one to tell. And it is probably the most disappointing thing I've had to experience next to my dad rejecting me.

I just wish I had a friend who would listen to me. I wish I had a friend who cared. I wish I had a friend that I could cheer on as well as have cheering me on. I want a friend who can understand me. But I don't have that friend. I don't think I have ever had that friend.

Today my word count is 39,062. I have 10,938 words to go. There isn't a single doubt in my mind that I'm going to be able to do in a couple of days what I've been trying to do for years. And I have no one to celebrate with.

National Novel Writing Month

This is really exciting to me because I'm really big on writing. And so of course I'm going to love National Novel Writing Month, which is a challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. It's called NaNoWriMo for short.

And I'm participating this year!

Right now I have almost 9,000 words written. It's really hard for me to not go back and add things or change things. If I do, I'll never make it to 50,000 words by the end of the month. But I'm pretty excited about the story I'm writing. It's about ghosts. And the MC is an empathic medium. That's pretty much all I have so far, but it's unfolding as I write. It's very fun to write, too.

To learn more about NaNoWriMo, click here. And good luck to anyone else that's participating with me!