Last night I finally stopped lying to myself. I have no life. My freaking hermit of an older brother has more of a life than I do. I don't know how I was able to get away with it for so long, but I haven't had a life for 4 years. It's pathetic.
I have revelations like this all the time, but only at night. It seems like the only time I have energy is when I'm trying to go to sleep. Because then I start thinking about my life and all the things that are happening. And then I start thinking about what I can do to make it better, to make myself happier. I start to make promises to myself about getting fit, building muscle, finding a job, making friends, meeting boys...getting a life. But as soon as I'm awake in the morning, I have no desire to do the things I told myself I would do.
Last night, when I had the epiphany that I seriously had no life and I've had no life since I was 14 years old, I promised myself I would get a life. And I started with promising to get a job. The problem is that I have no backbone, except when I'm trying to sleep. So last night it all seemed like a good idea, but now I'm not sure I will be able to do it.
But I'm telling you now, I'm going to do it. Not because I want a life though, but because Comcast is calling. I know that seems stupid, but when Comcast starts calling, I know we've run out of money. I'm 18 years old, I think it's time I started to help pay the bills.
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